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Silver screen comedian Oliver Hardy used to revel in the degradation of his on-screen partner Stan Laurel by admonishing, “Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into!” The comedy great was describing a situational dilemma known as “a pickle.” In baseball when a runner gets caught between bases with two or more fielders in pursuit and little chance of escape he is said to be caught in “a pickle.” When a lifetime imbiber of alcohol begins to show signs of poor liver function—OK, you get the idea. This is a story about the . . . well, you know . . .

According to researchers I trust because I’m far too lazy to do the leg work myself Americans, on the whole, consume more than 2.5 million pounds of pickles each and every year. And the average American consumes 8.5 jars per year all by himself. Call me frugal but I’m just thinking of all those half jars going to waste every year. If just 17 of those folks would send me their unused half jars in December I could join in on Club Gherkin without spending a dime of my own. [Read more…]