So there I was trolling around FacebookVille, minding my own business, when I spotted a post that jumped out at me like a political pollster desperate to engage two days before the election. It read:
In a time of bitter political divisions we need to find areas of common ground. And I say we can all agree that Danke Schoen by Wayne Newton is simply the most dreadful song ever emitted between 1950 and 1980. Can I get an amen? Surely this is not up for dispute. It is simply not feasible that ANY other song was as stupid as this one.
At face value this was a purely ridiculous statement. While no great fan of entertainer Wayne Newton, off the top of my head I could name five songs that are objectively—in the most subjective manner possible—musical expressions muuuuuuuch worse artistically than the 1960s song this post claimed was no better than any song ever written and recorded. The song is a trifle about a series of mediocre dates. Nothing more, nothing less. Hardly the stuff of legendary world-class musical distress.